Next week I will walk back
into the classroom, and I will transform from Bee Ridgway, novelist and author
of that time travel adventure saga, The River of No Return, into Bethany Schneider, professor of 18th
and 19th century American literature.
I’m looking forward to
teaching – but I’m also nervous.
This is the first time that the “new me” will have to behave as if I’m
still the “old me.” Is “old me”
the same, or has she changed?
This morning, as I
worked on my syllabi, I found myself thinking about a speech I gave at Bryn
Mawr several years ago, in which I compare the life of a college professor to
the life of Peter Pan living in Neverland. I dug the old file up and re-read it. I realized that
I must have partly written it for myself, for this very moment of return. I’m going to share the speech
here.
A caveat: this speech is a bit smarmy! It was given to high school seniors who had been admitted to
Bryn Mawr, but who had not yet decided whether to come. My job was to convince them that Bryn
Mawr is the best. So it’s partly a
sales pitch, I don’t deny it. But
. . . it’s a sales pitch in which I believe. I’ve taught at Bryn Mawr since 2001, and I love it.
PETER PAN AT BRYN MAWR COLLEGE
Mikhail Baryshnikov, Gisele Bündchen and Tina Fey |
I don’t know if you remember the
end of Peter Pan. The three Darling children return from Neverland
along with all of the Lost Boys.
Only Peter refuses to come inside and grow up like the rest of
them. Wendy and her mother try to
convince him, and he says, passionately, “I don’t want to go to school and
learn solemn things! I don’t want
to be a man!” He goes back to
Neverland and lives with Tinkerbell.
Every once in a while he comes back and looks longingly through the
window at Wendy and the formerly Lost, now Found Boys. He watches them grow up, while he
remains a kid in scrappy green rags.
In the beginning of the play he is the one they all look up to, the one
with the ideas, the one to take them to Neverland and show them things they couldn’t
imagine. By the end they are
mustachioed pillars of society and they have forgotten that they ever knew
Peter Pan, that they could ever fly.
Remembering Peter Pan
– a fantastical play and then a book and then several films for children -- may
seem like a strange way to introduce you to Bryn Mawr College, which is, as I’m
sure you are aware, a scholarly liberal arts college. The sentences, “I don’t want to go to
school and learn solemn things! I
don’t want to be a man!” seem pretty patently inappropriate. At Bryn Mawr you will be in school and you
will most certainly learn solemn things. And as for not wanting to be a man, well. At Bryn Mawr we are in the business of helping young women become fabulously
bad-assed in a world that is still stacked against them.
So. I begin by remembering the end of Peter Pan not because I think you are like that boy in green, but
because, after ten years of teaching at Bryn Mawr College, I have come to
realize that I am like him. Several generations of
Bryn Mawr women have now passed through my classrooms. All of them have been, in their own
way, full of spit and vinegar, as my grandmother would say. I always feel as if the group of
women I’m teaching at the moment will be here forever. I feel like together, they and we –
these particular students, the professors and staff – are Bryn Mawr, forever. But of course a Bryn Mawr woman takes everything at a gallop. She storms through the place and you
can tell when she’s ready to go, because of the transformation not only in her
knowledge, but also in her self-possession, her humor, her courage, the
attunement of her mind. Off she
goes to conquer the world.
So you see – as a professor to
this particularly amazing breed, this Bryn Mawr woman, I feel a bit like Peter
Pan, who lives forever on an enchanted island where others tarry . . . but
eventually leave, eventually grow up. If I’m Peter, Bryn Mawr is, in certain ways, Neverland. I don’t mean that it is childish or
silly. Far from it. Peter Pan lures boys away from humdrum
family nurseries where they are locked into rather dreary childish behaviors, to
a thrilling island fraught with danger and excitement, where they live on the
razor’s edge between life and death, and find their pleasure there. Like Peter Pan, I feel that I can offer you something that beautiful and also dangerous, something marvelously different from the confinements of youth.
Bryn Mawr reaches out to the world,
its mission is the education of women for the global present. You won’t be isolated here, or cut
off. But I want you
to also understand that Bryn Mawr is, like Neverland, an island. It is a collective fantasy. I mean that
positively -- I think it's a good thing in a college. The term “ivory tower”
is used disparagingly, and the isolation of academia is often critiqued. We work hard at Bryn Mawr to make sure
our students are citizens of a contemporary and dynamic world. But an important part of a liberal arts
education is the small community of scholars working together, "we happy few." You’ve been on the tour, and you’ve
seen the beautiful cloister that is at the heart of Bryn Mawr, the secluded
space that recalls the history of higher education in Europe. Bryn Mawr reaches outward, yes, it prepares you for a life outside and away from it . . . but
that inward-turning part of the college is precious. It is the
Neverland at the heart of this place.
Let me explain by turning to the
past. M. Carey Thomas, the
school’s second president, called Bryn Mawr her “fairy college,” because back
then when women’s choices were so limited, it felt as if she and her colleagues
were building a fragile, magical oasis outside of cold reality. That’s partly why she insisted on the
Collegiate Gothic style for the buildings, rather than the plain Quaker style
of Haverford. She knew that Bryn
Mawr was desperately needed, and she knew it needed to be almost mystical in
quality – a previously unimaginable place where female students could practice
being free and passionate intellectuals.
She knew they needed that “fairy college,” that place of secluded
preparation, because when they left, they would have to fight for every scrap
of recognition they could get outside the college’s walls. Women have made great strides since the
late 19th century, but the journey isn’t nearly over. And Bryn Mawr is still here. It is still enchanting in the best
sense of the word. I’ve said it
before and I’ll say it again. Enchantment
should be scary. It should be dangerous. It should change you into something you
couldn’t have previously imagined, it should whirl you away from the life you
know. It should, in other words,
make you into a creature who can fly.
And unlike the poor Lost Boys who trade fantasy for respectability, the
flying lessons you receive at Bryn Mawr will never forsake you.
Um yes this is from a Bryn Mawr yearbook |
One thing I love most about
teaching is watching my students find their wings. I could tell dozens of stories about how my students have
woken up to their passions and fascinations while at Bryn Mawr. But I’ll tell you just one, tonight. It’s simple, but it encapsulates the
transformation that the "fairy college" can produce. I’ll call this student Moira. She turned up at Bryn Mawr, shy as a chipmunk. She was
literally fresh from the farm in Iowa, and she sat quietly at the freshman
seminar table day after day, hiding behind her hair. She wrote the most incredible papers, but if I called
on her, she looked at me reproachfully from under her bangs, and said nothing.
Then one day a stranger walked
into the room and sat in Moira’s usual spot. She had a sharp new haircut and she was dressed in a black
vintage dress. She raised her hand right away and proceeded to say fantastic
things. After class I asked Moira
what had happened. She smiled easily
at me, with a sort of breezy confidence.
“Well, Professor,” she said, “Over the weekend I realized that
I was here, at Bryn Mawr, and I just . . . changed!” In her senior year, Moira – the formerly
shy chipmunk -- directed the funniest, most outrageous, most un-shy production
of The Importance of Being Earnest that
I have ever seen.
Unlike Peter Pan, I stay in touch
with my Lost Boys, who are neither lost nor boys. My old students are out there in the world, running their own
businesses, teaching, healing, researching, traveling, they are in politics and
publishing and law, they have families, they are activists and artists and
chefs and rabbis, nurses and doctors and actors – and because I teach English
and many of my students love to write, many of them go away and become writers
– food writers, children’s book writers, novelists, journalists, playwrights .
. . they have scattered all over the world, they inhabit every walk of life,
every kind of life. I hope
that someday some of you will be among them!
So a very heartfelt welcome to
Bryn Mawr College – I hope that you enjoy your time here. Please feel free to email me if you
have any questions . . .
Thank you for this. I am a Bryn Mawr alum, and I'm also about to walk out the door for my first day as a real professor at an institution whose students find it their own "fairy college." This was exactly what I needed to read this morning! I'm off - second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning!
ReplyDeleteLaura! How fantastic. There are definitely pirate captains lurking about in this profession, but you will prevail! I hope your first day was wonderful.
DeleteWonderful and perfectly timed as I am driving to Mount Holyoke today to drop off my daughter for her freshman year (BMC wasn't in the cards, I guess across the street is really too close) and I plan on sharing it with her.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to both of you, and please say hello to the beautiful valley -- I grew up there. I hope she adores Mount Holyoke!
DeleteSwoon! As a graduate from Bryn Mawr from within the last few years, reading about impressions of the school and hearing tangible thoughts written on the life there never feels to spring up fantastic nostalgia. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteso wonderful! As a Bryn Mawr grad, I think the lessons of galloping and transformation never end, I'm just about to begin a new 'gallop' as I shake up my life! The Mawrter lessons never cease :)
ReplyDeleteI graduated from Bryn Mawr in '04 and this posting is just what I needed to invigorate my spirit as my TEN year reunion approaches! Time flies in the real world.
ReplyDelete